Saturday, May 3, 2008

# 5 What would you ask other like-minded people about their D/s practices?

  1. how do you get your HOH to understand and really get it.
  2. I am always interested in the level of commitment in D/s relationships. I am very committed and exclusively submissive to Him. It seems though, that others often just play at it with several partners. I do not think I could achieve a proper level of submission to satisfy my tendencies, wih more than one Dom.
  3. About general experiences, dos and don'ts, lessons learned, resources... Anything they would find interesting to tell
  4. ideas about training, building and mainting trust, communications
  5. Mostly if and how are they able to handling both love and SM, especially if the Master does not believe he can love his sub
  6. What are your deepest needs? When did you know this about yourself? What is it you can't get enough of?
  7. Everything! I am fascinated by the ins and outs of other people's sexuality (all right, and my own). I would especially like to learn more about people's first stirrings of kinky inclination (whether they feel like an "orientation" as my own do, or whether "giving it a shot and liking it" is more common).
  8. What they are like in the vanilla world. How if they are "hard core", how they interact on a daily basis.
  9. why?
  10. i am always interested in how people find partners because i don't really have one.
  12. Am I just simply naive? Are you just simply naive?
  13. As an "older" woman, I often wonder about those who practice the lifestyle beyond the "flush" of the twenties and thirties. How do people keep embodying the realities of D/s practice into middle age and beyond?
  14. Curious about all aspects of how others do it including raising children, integrating friends and family, conflict resolution, ritual... Everything.
  15. I am really curious about the things others do that don't turn me on at all. The internet makes it really easy to think that if one person is into something (say scat for an extreme example) then it is actually a widely done practice. There are no figures really. I don't think I have any questions for others though, I read blogs for glimpses into people's lives, ideas, fantasies but each relationship is so singular one person's practices can have almost no relevance on those of another.
  16. I have no questions about others right now.
  17. Not sure...perhaps a discussion of formal training methods.
  18. I wouldn't....I don't think. If I wish to know, I try to read about it....research it in a book, or on the internet.
  19. How much do you incorporate D/s into everyday life? (To female submissives:) How do you reconcile the idea of female liberation and equal treatment with a D/s relationship, which resembles the old model of "Man as the head of the household, woman stays home and does the housework."
  20. I would ask them about their routines and good/bad past experiences.
  21. Do you feel you have always had these desires? Do you practice d/s 24/7? Do you find that it takes more and more to satisfy your desires as time goes on?
  22. Any m/m spanking couples there?
  23. How do your desires/needs get fulfilled in your normal life routine? How do you find the "right kind" of people to interact with?
  24. The pain~! emotional pain...of getting do they do it? Is it all-reaching? Is there respect embedded in the relationship?? Is there freedom for creativity?
  25. How do you manage with kids??? We have four ranging from 3 to 16!!!
  26. How do you manage with kids??? We have four ranging from 3 to 16!!!
  27. Is there a place where you feel at ease, with out that need to push and find so urgent?
  28. Do you have a specific vision of what you want in a D/s relationship, of the dynamic you want to acheive and go about trying to make that happen or do you go with the flow, comfortable with the fact that you don't really know how it will turn out? Which way is easier and does one approach give you greater satisfaction than the other?
  29. Does your wife obey you? Do you spank your wife? does she like it? There are so many questions I could ask, but actually I have no like-minded friends.
  30. i am obssessively curious about what goes on in a dom's head and what he feels when he does whatever he does. what does he get out of it? i've also started to wonder if by definition being submissive is generally a more omni-present state of mind throughout the day - not that i, for example, am submissive to everyone and anyone, but i tend to carry my awareness of the flavour of our relationship and it gives me strength. i suspect that doms, both from being (largely) male and from the fact that they can give an order and then go on their way, may be prone to separate the parts of their lives more. in general, i am intrigued by the psychological underpinnings of D/s.
  31. We are happy as we are
  32. I don't know that I could limit it to just one question, I am quite the curious one! :) And I don't know that I could choose just one generic question, rather I would be interested in others responses to circumstances and situations that arise in my life, curious how they would respond to the same situation.
  33. I like to know about their first experiences.
  34. I don't have any particular questions to which I'd like answers.... i feel very 'live and let live' about d/s in general. Perhaps input on meeting a compatible D/s partner.
  35. How do you keep it alive in a long term relationship?
  36. Oh, gee, I dunno... I guess tips on good ideas & tricks to try... easy yet good knots to tie... haha. I love to learn about new ways to please my man. I am always interested in the psychology side of it too, why people think they like what they like.
  37. I would like to know if they got into this kind of lifestyle from just from being curious, or whether it was a journey that their partner took them on. The only other thing that I can think of that I would like to know is: What kind of a relationship do female subs have with their fathers? And do they think this plays a role in this kind of lifestyle choice?
  38. What are your limits?
  39. I would ask them all sorts of questions about 24/7 and TPE. One day, i hope to have an Owner/Master who would own me in 100% totality.
  40. Any practical tips? Seriously, I'd like to know how they started, what they actually prefer to do (rather than what the media, including porn, wants us to think they like to do), and whether they see it as the whole or only part of their sexuality.
  41. Depends on whom I'm speaking to. Tips and tricks mostly. Where to find fun stuff.
  42. I would ask them to consider being all without the flamboyancy. Wearing the outfits is fine and going to affairs wonderful, but one should not lose ones identity in the play. If you will be a lord be a lord not act it. Be real to yourself and choice.
  43. How do you build a D/s community outside of 'scene' gatherings.
  44. How do you build a D/s community outside of 'scene' gatherings.
  45. Nothing
  46. Why does there seem to be so much "turnover" in D/s realtiionships
  47. What are some of their personal kinks and passions? And what are some of their safety practices? What ingenious equipment have they built, designed, or otherwise dreamed of?
  48. I think it's much easier for a dominant man to express his nature in his vanilla world than it is for a submissive woman to express her nature in her vanilla world. I know that many slaves need to "flip a switch" in that they must be assertive leaders in terms of their careers. This fascinates me. How are they able to flip that switch?
  49. I think more of the mental/emotional side should be delved into rather than just the sexual aspects that is so prevalent in all of the available information out there.
  50. How they cope with being themselves and not having; the gnaw of want and need is pretty difficult at times.
  51. While I am open to discussions with other like-minded people regarding D/s practices, I am much more focused on finding the right path for me and my significant than transposing others practices into my own personal experiences.
  52. Are they ever truly satisfied
  53. not a lot. through blog reading and contact with many Doms and subs i am fortunate in that i can ask them and learn from their experiences.
  54. Everything! I think we are all starved for friends and contacts - what has worked for them, what hasn't, what the pitfalls might be. I think just the opportunity to talk with like-minded people would be great. We are a middle class couple leading a regular life, and it would great to talk to people like us who incorporate these principles of dominance and submission into their lives.
  55. When was their first indication of this inclination? Do you wish this lifestyle to remain underground, or do you hope it will achieve mainstream acceptance like homosexuality has?
  56. not sure
  57. Gosh. I'd just like to hear from more people who are making kinky relatinoships work- really work in a long term, mature healthy reltaionship sense, where both partners are functioning adults whose emotional needs are articulated and met. Id like people to know that is a possible reality, too. Also I'd like to know about the long term physical affects of repeated bruising from other subs expereince.
  58. I wonder how other people discovered BDSM. I wonder what is the spectrum of activities.
  59. Where would they place themselves on the continuum of spanking activity? Which were they aware of first, the interest in spanking or their D/s interests?
  60. how do you manage your wants and desires within your vanilla world?
  61. Does it make them happy? Are they developing through it? Where do they see themselves going next?

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