I was talking to a (vanilla) friend the other day, or actually he was talking to me, about the problems he was having with his wife. She is controlling, demeaning and constantly doing things to provoke an altercation with him. It's been going on for a while, and I sat there and nodded and offered my best advice and support, but all I could think of was...
Dude!!!! She's BEGGING for it. Slap a collar on that shrew already!!! If I have ever heard of anyone needing to be turned over a knee it is her!! She is a petulant, snarky child that needs to be put in her place! She gives "bratting" new dimension!!!!!!
Of course, I said none of this... but then I began to wonder... This woman is a troubled woman desperately searching for boundaries in her life. She is constantly doing things to test them, and he gingerly handles her when it's clear she needs a firm hand. Why couldn't this be a viable solution?
There are "kink" friendly therapists out there who provide traditional therapy to those in need, that have an understanding of the unique dynamics involved in certain lifestyles. But I wonder if they ever employ "kinky" solutions for their vanilla patients. hmmmm.....
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6 comments:
I have ADD, among other annoying conditions. Having some provide structure for my life, even something so simple as my bedtime, is a well-recognized method of management. The fact that the sadist uses pain and scoldings as his method of enforcement is a detail. The important thing is that he does for me something I can't do for myself, which makes me feel safe and secure. (We'll set aside the possible foolishness at feeling safe in the hands of a potentially very dangerous sadist, but such is the curious dichotomy of D/s.)
I think there are a ridiculous amount of vanilla people that would be cured of a lot of their issues (brattiness and needing boundaries being two big ones) with a good spanking. And how satisfying for their hen-pecked spouses to be able to correct such behaviors. And how exactly do you find a kinky-friendly therapist? Is that listed on their yellow page ad?
Actually there are certain sites that support kink friendly therapists. I know that if you read Dan Savage he has often times listed them.
Here is how you can find a kink friendly therapist...or Kink Aware Professional...
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
https://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=268&Itemid=48
:)
I've just come across this blog posting and am smiling at the timing. I hope I'm nowhere near the shrewish wife your friend describes - but just recently my husband of many years gave me a spanking I realize I both wholeheartedly desired and deserved.
I wouldn't say we were ever very vanilla - but this was definitely off our beaten path. It has brought us much closer and I would daresay more people should think about a bit of kink. ;)
Before I discovered I was submissive, I was always the dominant partner in my relationships...and I was miserable in them all, and never quite knew why. I wouldn't describe myself as shrewish, but I was definitely pushy and provoking and sometimes outright aggressive. I realized after coming to know myself better that I was waiting for one of them to stand up to me, outdo me in that way. But in part because of my control issues, I tended to attract partners who while not pushovers, were definitely fine with me controlling things. In some ways, until we figure things out (or find someone to tell you what is causing the feelings) it is kind of a self fulfilling situation.
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