Sunday, July 18, 2010

A question....

I received this comment on a post.....

trevzangel has left a new comment on your post "Training for the New Submissive":

I have been trying to research about becoming a submissive, the more i research the more i want to become, how do i start? if any one can help me please x 

In my humble opinion, trevzangel, being submissive is not something you simply "start," it is something that you just are. It's something that feels right to your very core, that resonates deep in your soul. I think what you may be inquiring is how to embark on a relationship where the distinct dynamic of Dominant and submissive are realized and practiced. Right?

It's a crazy world out there that needs careful navigation.  I think the best place to start is at home, and I have some questions...

Are you with a partner?
Can you share your feelings with them?
Are you scared to broach this topic with them? (Viv's book on the sidebar is an excellent resource, btw)
What is it that appeals to you about being submissive?
Is it possible to incorporate this into your present life?

There are social networking sites for folks looking for bdsm relationships, but please be cautious about them until you are really sure about what you want. They could be quite overwhelming, especially to someone new to the scene. Take it slow, be thorough and careful.

Anyone else have a word or two of advice for trevzangel?

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July

I hope
your holiday
is full
of dripping wet
deliciously salacious

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Stages of Submission.. Exploring Stage 1

Stage 1: The initial discovery stage.

Where and when one finds out about one's own feelings and emotions, related to erotic power exchange are often discovered in a very early (sometimes pre-puberty) stage, although they may either emerge or develop at a later stage as well.
I must have been about 8 years old or so, perhaps going through a hormonal surge, and I remember myself lying in my bed immersed in a fantasy involving a horribly strict man controlling several women. I still have images from the fantasy in my mind. Women standing in a row naked and shivering. The cruel Master standing before them ordering them about. I remember feeling my body burning with... something... I had no vocabulary for sexual anything then so even my memory of the feeling lacks a term.

I remember I used to pretend that I was always being watched by some sort of an overseer. He would watch my every move, and would punish me if I got out of line in the slightest way. I envisioned him standing there in brown leather boots carrying a large stick with which he would strike me. He would watch me as I waited for my school bus, or played with my friends. His stern words of warning filled my head as I pushed the boundaries in the slightest way. Such an intense warmth of sorts would flood my chest and arms almost forcing my body to the ground, a feeling I would rediscover almost 30 years later.

I remember as a child being enthralled by the remotest reference to spanking. Whether it was on television or in a book, I would keep a running list of all the places I would find these precious gems and go over them again and again in my mind.

And then it all just stopped. I think at some point I thought myself a freak or wrong for entertaining such thoughts so I banished them from my mind. I wanted to be a good and perfect girl, and good and perfect girls don't harbor such dark and dangerous fantasies or so I thought.

In my late 30's I rediscovered my secret desire for spanking, and would peruse the net for stories. I was surprised by my familiar primal reaction I had to them, and began reading more and more. I discovered there was a whole world of people and eventually engaged in a very cursory conversation with one such person. It was he who asked the one question that changed my life forever....

"So how long have you wanted to be with a Dominant man?"