Sunday, July 18, 2010

A question....

I received this comment on a post.....

trevzangel has left a new comment on your post "Training for the New Submissive":

I have been trying to research about becoming a submissive, the more i research the more i want to become, how do i start? if any one can help me please x 

In my humble opinion, trevzangel, being submissive is not something you simply "start," it is something that you just are. It's something that feels right to your very core, that resonates deep in your soul. I think what you may be inquiring is how to embark on a relationship where the distinct dynamic of Dominant and submissive are realized and practiced. Right?

It's a crazy world out there that needs careful navigation.  I think the best place to start is at home, and I have some questions...

Are you with a partner?
Can you share your feelings with them?
Are you scared to broach this topic with them? (Viv's book on the sidebar is an excellent resource, btw)
What is it that appeals to you about being submissive?
Is it possible to incorporate this into your present life?

There are social networking sites for folks looking for bdsm relationships, but please be cautious about them until you are really sure about what you want. They could be quite overwhelming, especially to someone new to the scene. Take it slow, be thorough and careful.

Anyone else have a word or two of advice for trevzangel?


Going Cerebral said...

In case it's useful for this query (or for anybody else), here's my think-out-loud blog post regarding my own ponderings about submissiveness. rather surprised me.

Anonymous said...

I would also add that the number one issue when approaching any "Dominant" is to assume they are untrustworthy until proven otherwise. Many so-called "Doms" are just screwed-up people trying to take advantage of inexperienced subs. Take time, get to know the person through their interactions with their friends and family and watch how they treat people. It's just like in vanilla life. If a "Dom" is an asshole to people around him, he'll treat you the same way once he gets his hooks in you.