Knees

There is just something wonderful about being on your knees in front of a powerful man with his cock deep in your throat. Don't you think?

Actually doing almost anything on your knees is quite divine.

When I finally recognized myself as a submissive woman, I couldn't bring myself to even sit on the furniture. The submission was so powerfully controlling in my body that I could barely stand on my feet and kneeling was my only option.  I miss how intense it was in the beginning of my discovery. I was besotted with submission. That is the best way I can describe it. Besotted. Saturated. Infused. Owned.

I still feel it intensely at times, and being on my knees helps to bring me to that place.

Bound

The more things change...The more they stay the same.

I hate cliches, especially when they are true. I hate actually fitting into a cliche because I'd like to think I'm so unique, but aren't we all?

The further we move away from each other, the stronger the pull. I suppose there is a lesson somewhere in there about the strength of attraction. I have never been without him, although we say we are no longer together. It's a joke, really. We both know how ridiculous it is to think we could ever truly be apart no matter how much we discuss our separation. I know what he is doing. He is giving me my space because he knows I need it. He always gives me what I need when I need it, before I even know I need it.

We orbit around the space of our lives, a couple of rogue planets, colliding abruptly then traversing fast away. Each push and pull directly effecting the other, a force as an uncontrollable and binding as the law of physics. It's the bond that transcends the rules of the day. The sign of one's true Master (as if there was ever any doubt). To him, I am forever bound.

(photo link)

 tonysangel's left the following comment on a post:

I am a sub in a long distance ownership most of my training has been done by phone or internet.. i have a tendency to defy him because of the distance.. only to have the punishment be more severe when i am before him.. i know the concequencces are coming.. anyone else have this problem and corrected it..

In exploring my own past experiences with distant Master, I remember realizing how easy it would be  to defy Master since he is not here to see. How would he ever know unless I told him? And why on earth would I rat myself out? Then I realized how pointless doing so would be. The only way to honor the true submission in my heart was to keep it pure by being honest and obedient. If I was having difficulty doing so, then I needed to address this with my Master.  What would the point be for either of us if I was just going to do what I wanted to do anyway?

Discuss it with him. It's a point of growth for you both.

new therapy?

I was talking to a (vanilla) friend the other day, or actually he was talking to me, about the problems he was having with his wife. She is controlling, demeaning and constantly doing things to provoke an altercation with him.   It's been going on for a while, and I sat there and nodded and offered my best advice and support, but all I could think of was...

Dude!!!! She's BEGGING for it. Slap a collar on that shrew already!!! If I have ever heard of anyone needing to be turned over a knee it is her!! She is a petulant, snarky child that needs to be put in her place! She gives "bratting" new dimension!!!!!! 

Of course, I said none of this... but then I began to wonder... This woman is a troubled woman desperately searching for boundaries in her life. She is constantly doing things to test them, and he gingerly handles her when it's clear she needs a firm hand. Why couldn't this be a viable solution?

There are "kink" friendly therapists out there who provide traditional therapy to those in need, that have an understanding of  the unique dynamics involved in certain lifestyles. But I wonder if they ever employ "kinky" solutions for their vanilla patients. hmmmm.....

processing...

I am currently without a recognized Dominant figure in my life. A painful choice I had to make to maintain my family structure. It's been almost a year, and I still feel like I'm in somewhat of a tailspin. I have so many emotions that wreak havoc in my life and I feel I have no clear plan or goal. It's definitely some sort of survival mode that keeps me afloat.

He doesn't know why I am so angry with him at times, and truth be told, neither do I. I think I am just angry at myself, and he is just the convenient target.  I need to get a grip on things. We recently went to the doctor, and his blood pressure was high. I immediately felt responsible. He is stressed and trying to hold it all together, normalizing a situation he can barely recognize or understand. I have not been easy. The child in me wants him deprived of peace as I am, perhaps.

It is an arduous process finding the Master within. I existed for a long time having to make my own rules and structure and I am sure I can do it again, but it is quite hard.  As hard as it is for the garden to garden herself.

A question....

I received this comment on a post.....

trevzangel has left a new comment on your post "Training for the New Submissive":

I have been trying to research about becoming a submissive, the more i research the more i want to become, how do i start? if any one can help me please x 

In my humble opinion, trevzangel, being submissive is not something you simply "start," it is something that you just are. It's something that feels right to your very core, that resonates deep in your soul. I think what you may be inquiring is how to embark on a relationship where the distinct dynamic of Dominant and submissive are realized and practiced. Right?

It's a crazy world out there that needs careful navigation.  I think the best place to start is at home, and I have some questions...

Are you with a partner?
Can you share your feelings with them?
Are you scared to broach this topic with them? (Viv's book on the sidebar is an excellent resource, btw)
What is it that appeals to you about being submissive?
Is it possible to incorporate this into your present life?

There are social networking sites for folks looking for bdsm relationships, but please be cautious about them until you are really sure about what you want. They could be quite overwhelming, especially to someone new to the scene. Take it slow, be thorough and careful.

Anyone else have a word or two of advice for trevzangel?

Happy 4th of July

I hope
your holiday
is full
of dripping wet
deliciously salacious
goodies....